I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
