never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
