Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
