i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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