I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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