Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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