If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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