I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
