i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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