They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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