I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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