the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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