So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So squirting runs in the family.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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