Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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