i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize