Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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