I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
