i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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