Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
