Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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