Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
