i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize