Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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