he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
