Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
