Who wears a wallet chain?!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
