Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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