I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
do herpes really smell.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
