i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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