he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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