You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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