Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
