So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
