Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
did i just pee glitter
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
