i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
