I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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