a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Randomize
