I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
