So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just high enough for therapy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
