i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
