We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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