Dude my mom stole all your condoms
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
