dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
