youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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