did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Where is the hickey?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
