I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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