Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
