Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize