and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
