i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
