He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
