I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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