yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
