he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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