Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
