I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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