I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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