What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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