If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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