hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
