Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
