I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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