I am in a vortex of obligation.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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