My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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