Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
