Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
NoShamevember. You game?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
