Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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