I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
