we made out on top of his cat.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
