We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
